Knock, Knock

Check out the video here
Joke
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Zebra.
Zebra who?
Ze-bra is too tight!

Explanation

The joke is that you expect a zebra, after all, the stranger introduced themselves as only “Zebra”. But what they were really saying was “ze-bra” which is “the bra” except with an accent.

This joke highlights the hilarity of miscommunication and the absurdity of having a zebra at one’s door.

Alternate Versions

  • In some versions, the bra is too loose.

Red Zebra

What’s black and white and red all over? A communist zebra!

Alternate versions and video

  • An embarrassed zebra.
  • A homicidal zebra.
  • A sunburned zebra.
  • A vampire zebra having a midnight snack.
  • A baby zebra with a diaper rash.
  • A zebra in an apple tree.
  • A zebra that got killed.
  • There are also many versions with no zebra at all. In these the zebra is generally replaced with newspaper, penguin, or a panda. Zebra Humor does not condone those punchlines and finds all versions having to do with zebras innately funnier.

More Alternate versions with video!

Red Zebra Vol. 2 is only available to “mature audiences” on newgrounds.

Black and white, and black and white, and black and white and green?

What is black and white, black and white, black and white, and green?
3 zebras eating a pickle!

Alternate Versions

View the video!

Zebra Gone To Heaven

A zebra dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter is waiting and says, “Go through those gates and God will answer all of your questions.” The zebra goes through the gates and asks God, “Am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?” God says, “You are what you are.” The zebra asks again and God says the same thing, “You are what you are”. The zebra goes back to St. Peter and says, “What the fuck? God didn’t answer my question.” St. Peter says, “Well, what did you ask him?” “I asked if I am white with black stripes or black with white stripes, and he just said, ‘You are what you are'”. Saint Peter replies, “Oh, you are white with black stripes.” The zebra astounded at getting an answer so easy furrows his brow and asks, “How do you know?” Saint Peter responds, “Because if you are a zebras. Zebras have a nervous demeanor like white people.

Alternate Versions

  • St. Peter does not always appear.
  • Some versions have the zebra asking many more people before asking God.
  • Sometimes, the zebra doesn’t die. He just goes to heaven to ask God.

The Foreign Man Who Wants To Learn English

Once there was a foreign guy and he needed to learn how to speak English. So he asked his English speaking wife to learn. She said, “Go to the airport, go to the zoo, and go to the hospital.” He went to the airport and everyone was saying “Take off, take off, take off”, and so he learned to say, “Take off”. Then he went to the zoo, and everyone was saying, “Zebra, zebra, zebra,” and so he learned to say zebra. Then he went to the hospital and everyone was saying, “Baby, baby, baby,” and so he learned how to say baby. He went back to his wife. She asked, “What did you learn today?” The man answered, “TAKE OFF ZE-BRA BABY!”

Alternate Versions

  • In some versions, the man’s English speaking wife is replaced by a female worker at some sort of English-teaching agency.
  • There is an alternate ending in which the woman hits the man in the head.